Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Where my ass pleads for help.

Ok. Here's the deal. I'm not fat, but I'm not skinny. Anymore.

I've never had a problem with my weight until the last year or so. Incidentally, when I started taking anti-depressants. {*#!$^} On the other hand, I'm not sitting in the closet with my head between my knees anymore, so that's a good thing.

Regardless, I can't continue to be content with this extra 15 pounds. I don't necessarily need to be a size 6 again, but that would be nice. None of my "cute" clothes fit anymore. My pants are PISSED. They're feeling neglected and the entire closet is starting to give me dirty looks as I walk by. I can hear it whispering "Look at that ass. What is she thinking!"

I know what I need to do. I need to change my habits. But dammit, I like my habits. I like eating hostess snack cakes and jelly beans for lunch. It makes me HAPPY. I like getting my exercise by lifting the laundry basket and running errands. Shouldn't that be enough? C told me that if I really wanted to lose weight, that I just needed to exercise more. I told him that I DO exercise. I do. I really do. I walk miles, every damn day. Going back and forth all over the house doing laundry, making beds, pacing because I'm chatting on the phone. These things take up ALOT of my day, surely I'm burning some serious calories.

Ok, I need to change my habits. This is not going to be easy. I've realized that my whole life; I've been lucky. Serious rock star kind of lucky. I've never even had to think about my weight, much less worry about it. Now, I have mocking pants and shy, scared tank tops.

I want to wear sheer, shiny fabrics again. No, I dont want to wear curtains, but a sexy little teddy would be cool.

Back to the dreaded habit changing horror. How do I do that? I'm serious. I need help. Tell me what to eat. Tell me the best way to exercise at home. If it involves kids and throwing things, EVEN BETTER.


Blogger Harmony said...

As I sit here trying to figure out how to respond to this, I got nuthin! I'm way too busy laughing and half scared that even though your on medicatiion, you can still here your clothes making fun of you...

I'm so very thankful I have someone like YOU in MY life.

8:17 PM  
Blogger Jenny said...

You know it's true! Have you SEEN my ass lately?

8:23 PM  
Blogger Josh said...

I've done well on the Atkins. Definitely a big habit change, but if you can't stay away from the sweets(as you've indicated), you might just need to go cold turkey for a while. Sugar is addictive, moreso for some than others. You lay off the breads and sugars for a few days, I guarantee you'll start looking and feeling better.

If it helps any, Hostess is going out of business. That still leaves Drakes, though.

PS - thanks for liking my blog so much! :)

12:22 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

simple solution. just change your diet and add a bit of extra activity for today. end the day. feel good about you and then... tomorrow decide to do it again.

works for me and i'm old!


5:48 AM  
Blogger is it just me? said...

I am in your boat with you. Us and our asses.
Sugar is the devil! It's those jelly beans! Small, but lethal. They lay the groundwork for the big guns: cup cakes! ;-)

6:36 AM  
Blogger ginger said...

I wish I could help you. I start to lose a little, then I get comfortable and gain it all back.

I hate it! I hate being on a diet. It shouldn't be so hard, especially since we must eat to survive. Humph.

6:36 AM  
Blogger C-8 said...

as much as my skinny jeans despise me, this is THE worst time of year to even consider dieting - unless going to the kitchen to get more whipped cream for the pumpkin pie is considered exercise... i may just invest in some muumuus until january... sigh

7:51 AM  
Blogger Cheeky Prof said...

Just wanted to say hi, and that I feel your pain. (Found you via Blog Explosion, by the way.) :)

7:52 AM  
Blogger Jenny said...

Jennifer, Ginger, Kate:

We can start our own "Ass Blog" where we lament our daily struggles brought on by a fat ass.

Nahhhh, maybe not.

10:32 AM  
Blogger ginger said...

Tee hee!

We could call it:

Ass me no questions, and I'll tell you no lies!

12:48 PM  
Blogger Jenny said...

Ohhh, You're so clever!

"If you think my ass is big, you should see my brain."


8:04 PM  
Blogger Jesse Gersten said...


I’d advise against Atkins. You’re pretty much setting yourself up to put back on more weight than you lose. To lose weight on Atkins, you substitute your old unhealthy habits with new unhealthy habits. Then, when you hit your goal weight, or get sick of depriving yourself, you have nowhere to go but back to the habits that put on the weight to start with. I lost 50 pounds on Atkins…then put on 70.

Fad diets are fads for a reason.

Both WW and Jenny Craig both work if you keep to the programs. The difference between the 2 is that WW has group meetings and you do a little more work measuring and preparing food. JC has 1 on 1 consultations and is food based, so you only have to get fruits, vegetables, and milk/yogurt. It is very common for people with 10-15 lbs to lose, to do so using either program.

If you want to do it on your own, you’ll want to cut your calories down to about 1200 or so a day. Make sure your diet is well balanced and take a multivitamin. And keep walking. The key to losing weight and keeping it off is portion control. If you go out to eat, eat half of what you’re given.

Take out your favorite pants and put them on a hanger where you’ll see them every day. Then, when you’re making a choice between something healthy, and something not so healthy, picture yourself wearing the pants. And know that making the unhealthy choice will put off fitting into the pants for another day. Is the short-lived enjoyment you get from eating the unhealthy choice worth not experiencing the wonderful feeling you’ll have wearing those pants? Probably not.

Feel free to email me if you would like any help coming up with a plan. I currently work for a weight loss company and I’ve lost 200 lbs myself, so I’ve been dealing with weight issues in one way or another for a long time.

You can contact me at jesse.gersten at gmail.com

Whatever you end up doing, good luck. You’ll be fitting back into your cute clothes in no time at all.

- Jesse

10:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Excellent, love it! Lipitor http www.redherring.com article.aspx i ching online trading Lic. fire smoke alarm installers http://www.forex-trader-0.info/forextradingsystem.html Pharmacy2005 adderall online parmacy http://www.parishiltonmpeg.info/Chicas-latinas-cuentos-de-sexo.html

3:10 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Keep up the good work film editing schools

12:11 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Very cool design! Useful information. Go on! Bmw white plains new york

4:47 PM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home